Dec. 5, 2012 at 4:14pm

Dear Claira,

It has been awhile since I last wrote you. You have changed and grown so much over these past few months that I do not even know where to begin.

We have had our share of tantrums, colds and general clinginess at this house and times where I have told myself I really do not think I can handle adding another child to our little family, but usually right after I have said that, you go and do something undeniably cute and so darling that my ovaries explode and I can think of nothing more exciting then adding another 10 kids to our family.

It has been amazing seeing your little personality really come out. You are a girl that knows what she wants and will do whatever it takes to make sure you get what you want. You are also the little girl that loves to explore and discover knew things, but you prefer to have your daddy or myself right there with you while doing so. You are not the girl that walks into the room and wants to talk and play with everyone as you are very shy, however given a little time, you are the girl that will not walk out of the room without giving everyone you just met a giant hug and saying goodbye a thousand times.

Last weekend, we went to a Christmas tree farm to find the perfect tree, your dad and I were on the search and while we were both being indecisive, you looked at us both and said that one and pointed over to a tree that your dad and I had somehow overlooked. We both looked at each other in amazement as we could not believe we had just missed it. You were right, it really was the most perfect tree, and within seconds it was decided that perfect little tree was coming home with us.

When we got home, I quickly got out the Christmas decorations and beloved record player and you and I spent the rest of the afternoon decorating the tree together and listening to Christmas music. I was thrilled you sort of understood the concept and although you mostly just played with the ornaments in the boxes, you did try and hang up a few all on your own. It was one of those afternoons that you dreamed about before having kids and there we were living it out loud together. I was hanging up Christmas tree decorations with my daughter. And just a few days ago, while your daddy worked late, you and I had our very own special night of dim lights, hot chocolate out of coffee mugs and the classic Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer. Another dream I once had that is now part of our little reality. I hope that you will always keep the childhood spirit and wonder I have seen so vividly lately with you the rest of your life. There is nothing more beautiful to me then seeing the joy and spirit of the season come alive with a little help from you.

Thank you for making every day just a little more special. I love you.

P.S. I swear we give our kid baths. Someone just got a little overzealous with the hot chocolate :)

Love,

Your Mommy.

9:25am

Me: Do you want a little brother or sister?

Claira: No, peanut butter.

Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:11pm

today and everyday i am so very thankful for you ms. claira winter.

thank you for always being my sunshine.

love, mom

Nov. 6, 2012 at 5:30pm

It has been a while since I have written a blog entry. It seems like life has been so busy lately and all the days just seem to meld together. You have gone through so many changes in the last few months that it is hard to remember all of the times that you have surprised your mom and I. About a month ago you were sitting on the counter while I was making dinner and there was a pile of change on the counter. You started putting your little finger on one coin at a time and sliding them to a different pile. We knew that you could name a few numbers, but that was basically limited to 1 and your favorite number 2. But as I counted with you I said three and then you slid another one over and said four. Then five, then six, then seven…then 4 again….but I could not believe my ears. Now with a little help and the right mood you are counting to ten. Before becoming a parent I thought I would have to make flash cards and install a chalk board in our house to help you understand the peculiar things we call numbers. Nope, you absorbed the information from somewhere in the universe and discussed with me over a potato and hamburger casarole. Everyone thinks their child is the next Nobel prize winner, but that evening I really did feel like I had the smartest kid ever.

What else…your hugs and kisses are coming with more meaning and frequency. Lately you have had a little trouble sleeping through the night and last night after it seemed like you did not want to go back to sleep I took you into the bed with me. This morning at about 6am you stood up in bed, pointed at the pictures on the wall, noted they were flowers, then laid on my chest and gave me a great big, good morning hug and kiss. I do not think there is a better way to get a day started than that. Blake had a birthday party last weekend and you were a little shy at first. But then Blake’s grandma, and my first grade teacher, brought you a piece of cake and you warmed up as soon as she started giving you fork fulls of cake and frosting. Pretty soon you were chasing her around the party and showing off your ability to walk backwards. You gave her two or three big hugs and that meant a lot to me. She was an important person for me growing up and it was amazing to see my daughter giving her hugs the same way I did when I was 5 years old. Before we left the party you made your rounds and made sure to hug everyone there. I can already see that you have a smile that can light a room up with its sincerity.

Whenever we ask you if you want to go for a walk you say, “Daddy?” Yes Daddy is coming too. “Mama?” Yes Mama is coming too. “Jayda?” Yes Jayda is coming too. “Cwaiwa?” (Claira) Yes Claira is coming too. Only then, once you have established all necessary parties will be attending the walk will you be willing to put on your shoes and jacket.

Halloween was a week ago. We went to the store looking for a costume and a lady bug costume caught our eye. Your mom went to look for more ideas while you and I gave that one a trial run in the store. As soon as I put it on I yelled to your mom, “We have a winner.” You found a mirror and just smiled at yourself. This was a Goodwill costume so it had seen a few Halloweens before. One of the antennas was just holding on by a thread and the wings looked like the last kid slept in the costume. But you could not have been more proud. You walked around the store like you owned the place and were not really happy when we had to take it off to check out.

I could fill pages and pages with your new discoveries and quips that are so rewarding as a parent. Your mother and I are so blessed to have you in our lives. We miss you terribly when we have to be apart from you and every hug you give fills us to the brim with love. I love you so much sweetheart.

As you have been saying lately, “See you soon.”

Love,

Daddy

Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:51pm

Autumn is here.

Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:40pm

I never want to forget her little baby sounds & giggles. this was recorded months ago, but still wanted to share it here.

Crazy, how much has changed since then. Now she’s a little girl full of words and even short sentences.

1:38pm

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

By E. E. Cummings 1894–1962

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sep. 14, 2012 at 12:42pm

Claira,

I am off on another long work trip super early tomorrow & this will officially be the longest we have been apart since the day you were born. I will be on the East Coast for 7 long days, but I want you to know there will not be a second that goes by that I do not think of you – my love. I will be counting down every minute until I can have both your father & you back in my arms.

This summer is nearly over and the leaves have already begun to change. Soon the cute little dresses that seemed to have gotten smaller and smaller as you have gotten bigger and biger will be put in boxes to make way for warmer items. It brings a smile to my face, thinking of all the fun things we have done together over the summer, but it makes me sad to think it will be such a long time until you have a chance to run around at the splash pad or dance outside to the music on the square again. I cannot imagine all the new words & things you will be doing come this time next year. I am left feeling bittersweet, but looking forward to the autumn season as well. Thoughts of apple orchards, pumpkin patches & Halloween costumes come to mind. You just make all the little things fun again.

Your Daddy and I had some of our little dreams shattered recently and it has left my emotions all over the place. This will not discourage us for long though little girl, I do not give up easily. If anything it was the kick in the butt I needed. The future looks bright for us, I just know it, we just might have to dance in the rain for a little longer.

As far as this space goes, I have gone back and forth on if I want to keep typing here or scribble my thoughts on paper instead. I want to come here for the right reasons and to write because I have something to say and not to fill space. Social media can be a good thing and has been a good thing for me mostly, but I do not want it to take up more of my time than it needs to. I still do not know what that means……….but for now it means less and less entries will be made here or at least for now. Who knows though, I can’t imagine giving this space up for good though. Time will tell.

I love you to the moon and back.

Aug. 28, 2012 at 9:04pm

Simplicity

Aug. 23, 2012 at 9:34am

It was a beautiful night for a bike ride.